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pika-memes:
mosticonicposts: dailyhangover: super-greenmario: free him
  him free
certified iconic post
anxietyproblem:
lilacandladybugs: lilacandladybugs: my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring
 *holds your head in my hands* im sorry i let you down
tiktoksthataregood-ish:
dovewithscales: hyratel: dovewithscales: messy-scandinoodle: dovewithscales: virtuous-thing: baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa: heartgemsona: erotic-yoddeling: bemusedlybespectacled: nonlinear-nonsubjective: sonneillonv: castiel-for-king: maliwanhellfires: just-shower-thoughts: Mammals both produce milk and have hair. Ergo, a coconut is a mammal.
I know you’re being facetious, but this is an actual issue with morphology-based phylogeny.
*leans over and whispers to person beside me* what are they talking about
*leans over and whispers back* Human ability to quantify and categorize natural phenomena is sketchy at best and wildly misleading at worst
consider the coconut
this reminds me of that time Plato defined humans as “featherless bipeds” and Diogenes ran in with a plucked chicken screaming “BEHOLD A MAN!”
i love how you say “it reminds me of that time” like you were there.
listen if an immortal feels brave and supported enough to come out we should respect them
This post is a journey
1 Reblog = 1 Respect
I maintain that humans started attempting classify animals, and some god or another made the platypus, and is still laughing.
Zeus: *hits joint* okay so like. It’s gonna have a duck bill right. But an otter body okay? And then a beaver tail. It’s a mammal. But. It lays eggs! Hades: wait wait dude. Give it. Give it poison. Make it poisonous
Athena: You mean venomous, and make sure the eggs have both reptile and bird traits.
Hermes: *takes the joint* Give it extra senses.
Poseidon: It should be aquatic.
I MEAN where’s the lie
Demeter: … And where exactly do you expect me to put this?
Everyone: Australia.
hereticheathcliff: Just heard someone say “30 years ago, in 1993,” and stopped what I was doing. I froze. What do you mean 1993 was 30 years ago. That’s illegal
fawnilu: mood
horse-is-a-horse-of-course:
unashamedly-enthusiastic: midnightssea: Sorry but this is hilarious
can I take a picture of the moon? the tower of Pisa: yes, sorry
maskeraith:
transfaguette: monemin: transfaguette: hate that english makes you say things like “that that” and “do do”
yeah. hate that that’s something i do do sometimes
im screaming and crying and throwing up
eastern-bloc-party: 
lynati: killowave-the-2nd: 
…oh godDAMMIT.
bemusedlybespectacled: chongoblog: headspace-hotel: derinthescarletpescatarian: Whenever you find yourself in a situation of difficulty that makes you feel foolish and stupid, like if you lose your phone charger or forget an important appointment, or entirely forget when the War of 1812 took place, or beat meringue a little too far past the point of forming stiff peaks, or spill a glass of water in your lap in the precise way so as to make it appear like you peed your pants right as your crush is about to walk past, just think to yourself: “At least I have the presence of mind not to think that carrots have too much sugar.”
“Unsure what went wrong”
I googled this and like… guys… it’s a carrot cake. IT’S A CARROT CAKE. “cake turned out rather nasty” NO SHIT CRISSYBOO86 IT’S BECAUSE YOU USED KALE IN A CARROT CAKE
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